Goodbye

[kavic5150]

Yep, you can tell the Missus we arent letting you go.

Now its time to be more proactive. Have her make an account here on HF and introduce her to the Heli ladies section. Maybe even buy her a small coax and see if you can get her hooked too.

Seriously tho, dunno whats going on but I hope you get it sorted.

[drakonis]

im glad to see your not going to leave. i just got to this thread late. what club did you fly at? im local (in snohomish) and close to the cascade heli field. i had planned on joining but since my car decided to drain my bank account i cant for a couple weeks. but im glad to see your going to try to work things out with the wife. ive been there and i made some changes for the better. we have been together for 20 yrs will be 21 in august. about 10 years ago we had big issues and i made drastic changes for the better. hang in there and do what it takes. dont stop flying. you Will go crazy just thinking about it and not being able to do it. i know i did so i started up again. good luck and i hope to meet you soon at one of the fields. doug

[airbound]

Rex --- All I can say is the both of you need to do what makes you guys happy No One Else--I have been there & done that--It doesn't work.As long as you are both on the same page--it will all work out. Keep th faith. I also wanted to tell you that it is people like you That make this hobby so rewarding. Last year at this time , this 50 yo guy was flying a MSR--today I am flying a Fusion 50--Would not have been possible w/o HF-- Keep the faith---Walt

[dyin2fly]

newb, I know you and I got off on the wrong foot, but we soon came to an agreement and resolved our problem, and for that, I'm glad to call you a friend.
so as a friend, I truly hope you find peace with your life and it all turns out good in the end. take care brother.

[Mike2112]

Originally Posted by nirtza79

Hi there,
My experience with life is that everything happens for a reason and it is always for the best even if you cant see it at the moment..
Good luck!

Yup...as the saying goes, sometimes a bad event is a blessing in disguise. That saying seems to be true very often even though you might not see it at the time.

[Slyster]

Hang in there Ricky. Sorry you are going through a rough time.

[andione1983]

jeez i hope things work out for you mate.... i guess it can be a wake up call for us all.... dont get too involved with our hobbies that we can forget those we love... dont forget your family dont pour all your money into our hobbies... remember our wives need to be happy too. It is wake up call. thanks for that part of it. and i really hope you can work it out mate

Sent from my Galaxy SII

[hANDYman]

Wow! Just read most of the posts here...

Really sorry to hear about your trials newb. Glad to hear you are going to keep flying though, especially since you enjoy it so much. Unless it is the actual cause of the heartache, I think it's great if you can keep it up as it will probably be very therapeutic for you.

Sorry to hear about your past relationship also... very similar to my boss' first marriage. Granted, the demise of the marriage was his fault, however by the time the wife had done lying to the police, the judge, and her kids, it damn near ruined him. He still has a relationship with his son, however his daughter (and grandkids) are out of his life.

All I can advise it to take it one day at a time, and never be afraid to ask for help.

From all of your helpful posts I've read over the time I've been here, you seem like a really nice (and helpful) guy, and if I ever make it down into the states I would love to hook up with some of you guys in Washington for some flying.

Don't give up anytime soon... (on your wife or on your hobby)

Andrew

[McKrackin]

Sober up bro and get back with us....

You can't even imagine how many times I've been standing where you are now....


Quit it bro....just quit!!!!

[JesusFreak]

Newb,

I don't know you well, I've seen some of your posts. This stuff hits close to home. I would have kept quiet, but you mentioned the Lord. ;-) I've been married almost 26 years to my high school sweetheart. We met very young, did things right. Both Christians, waited to have kids. Go to Church regular. EVEN with all that going for us, we have had our moments (still do), where I know without Christ, one of us would have said ENOUGH and left.

I don't attribute our relationship to anything she or I have done, our marriage has survived DESPITE our selfishness, anger, baggage, etc. None of us is perfect. I personally believe that without Christ as the center of your marriage you are doomed to fail, as people are naturally self centered. But if you bring Christ into your marriage and you can both focus on Him and what He wants for your lives, you can come together and win the battle.

I'll share one thing that I believe has helped my wife and I more then anything, and it may sound silly. But, if you are a believer and your wife is a believer, set aside 10 or 15 minutes a day to PRAY OUT LOAD TOGETHER. Even though I've been a believer since I was a boy, learning to do this was one of the hardest things in my life. Even as a Christian I reserved my prayer life as something between me and God. I had to learn that in God's eyes we have been joined by Him and that even my prayers and thoughts I have to share with my wife and my Lord together. I'm sure I'll get laughed at for this, but I'll say it anyway, praying honestly and openly with my wife is more intimate then sex. It leaves you completely exposed and vulnerable, but I honestly believe this is what the Lord desires for us.

We still fight and have our disagreements, but it is really hard to come before the Lord and your wife and pray and to be dishonest or fake. (Assuming you believe). It forces you to deal with issues and not hold grudges. When we are REALLY POd at each other, it's nearly impossible to pray together, and it will eat me up inside when our relationship is in that type of mess.

I still have lots to learn, but the Lord has held us together. Find a good Bible believing Church and get some counseling and some friends to help hold you accountable to one another. Enjoy your hobbies, but be sure you are not putting them in front of your family and responsibilities to your wife. She should come first. I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your wife to make it through this difficult time and for things to turn around.

One other thing, if you agree to work on things, agree to take the threats to leave off the table. It should not cross your lips. Couple's don't realize the damage they do to the trust to one another when they make this part of their arguments, but I know it's very common. Women in particular need to know you are there for the duration, that those vows mean something. Coming out of another marriage puts you at a disadvantage, but try to get there on this one and agree between yourselves if it's not too late.

God bless!

[lucien]

Originally Posted by banditpowdercoat

Single sucks!! From my perspective anyways

For some of us, the choice is made for us (women are smart!). Ronald Reagan was president the last time I had an actual "girlfriend"; I've forgotten what the last woman I was with even looks like, I only remember it was about 6 years ago and she disappeared one day never to return.

OTOH, I look around my apt. and see I've kind of been married all this time and really didn't realize it. I have helis and all the associated stuff, my logbooks for my full-scale (plank), my basses, computer stuff and other things.

For me, my hobbies have in a way become my life (computers became the way I make a living in fact). I'm probably an extreme example, but generally that's what our hobbies are for - they're a part of us that sticks with us when the other parts get sick (or run off with some other guy, etc).

So I'd say good to stick with helis. They've certainly made my life a lot brighter and can really help carry you through some tough times...

LS

[crashmaster324]

Hey rex hope the best for you hang in there all marriages have highs and lows mine has,and right now its high (i think)so anyway looking forward to meeting you someday and flying together.What club did you go to last weekend.

craig

[Hawkerjet]

Originally Posted by JesusFreak

Newb,

I don't know you well, I've seen some of your posts. This stuff hits close to home. I would have kept quiet, but you mentioned the Lord. ;-) I've been married almost 26 years to my high school sweetheart. We met very young, did things right. Both Christians, waited to have kids. Go to Church regular. EVEN with all that going for us, we have had our moments (still do), where I know without Christ, one of us would have said ENOUGH and left.

I don't attribute our relationship to anything she or I have done, our marriage has survived DESPITE our selfishness, anger, baggage, etc. None of us is perfect. I personally believe that without Christ as the center of your marriage you are doomed to fail, as people are naturally self centered. But if you bring Christ into your marriage and you can both focus on Him and what He wants for your lives, you can come together and win the battle.

I'll share one thing that I believe has helped my wife and I more then anything, and it may sound silly. But, if you are a believer and your wife is a believer, set aside 10 or 15 minutes a day to PRAY OUT LOAD TOGETHER. Even though I've been a believer since I was a boy, learning to do this was one of the hardest things in my life. Even as a Christian I reserved my prayer life as something between me and God. I had to learn that in God's eyes we have been joined by Him and that even my prayers and thoughts I have to share with my wife and my Lord together. I'm sure I'll get laughed at for this, but I'll say it anyway, praying honestly and openly with my wife is more intimate then sex. It leaves you completely exposed and vulnerable, but I honestly believe this is what the Lord desires for us.

We still fight and have our disagreements, but it is really hard to come before the Lord and your wife and pray and to be dishonest or fake. (Assuming you believe). It forces you to deal with issues and not hold grudges. When we are REALLY POd at each other, it's nearly impossible to pray together, and it will eat me up inside when our relationship is in that type of mess.

I still have lots to learn, but the Lord has held us together. Find a good Bible believing Church and get some counseling and some friends to help hold you accountable to one another. Enjoy your hobbies, but be sure you are not putting them in front of your family and responsibilities to your wife. She should come first. I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your wife to make it through this difficult time and for things to turn around.

One other thing, if you agree to work on things, agree to take the threats to leave off the table. It should not cross your lips. Couple's don't realize the damage they do to the trust to one another when they make this part of their arguments, but I know it's very common. Women in particular need to know you are there for the duration, that those vows mean something. Coming out of another marriage puts you at a disadvantage, but try to get there on this one and agree between yourselves if it's not too late.

God bless!

+1000

Rex, This is excellent medicine. I too have put Jesus right in the center of my life and marriage. This August will be 33 years of marriage for my wife and I. 3 grown kids and 1 grandson. Without Christ in my marriage I am certain it would have failed years ago.

You will not find "God helps those who help themselves" in the Bible. It's primary message is: God helps us when we ask because we cannot help ourselves.

Call out to Him and trust him with all your heart. He will amaze you with what he can do.

[andione1983]

Originally Posted by JesusFreak

Newb,

I don't know you well, I've seen some of your posts. This stuff hits close to home. I would have kept quiet, but you mentioned the Lord. ;-) I've been married almost 26 years to my high school sweetheart. We met very young, did things right. Both Christians, waited to have kids. Go to Church regular. EVEN with all that going for us, we have had our moments (still do), where I know without Christ, one of us would have said ENOUGH and left.

I don't attribute our relationship to anything she or I have done, our marriage has survived DESPITE our selfishness, anger, baggage, etc. None of us is perfect. I personally believe that without Christ as the center of your marriage you are doomed to fail, as people are naturally self centered. But if you bring Christ into your marriage and you can both focus on Him and what He wants for your lives, you can come together and win the battle.

I'll share one thing that I believe has helped my wife and I more then anything, and it may sound silly. But, if you are a believer and your wife is a believer, set aside 10 or 15 minutes a day to PRAY OUT LOAD TOGETHER. Even though I've been a believer since I was a boy, learning to do this was one of the hardest things in my life. Even as a Christian I reserved my prayer life as something between me and God. I had to learn that in God's eyes we have been joined by Him and that even my prayers and thoughts I have to share with my wife and my Lord together. I'm sure I'll get laughed at for this, but I'll say it anyway, praying honestly and openly with my wife is more intimate then sex. It leaves you completely exposed and vulnerable, but I honestly believe this is what the Lord desires for us.

We still fight and have our disagreements, but it is really hard to come before the Lord and your wife and pray and to be dishonest or fake. (Assuming you believe). It forces you to deal with issues and not hold grudges. When we are REALLY POd at each other, it's nearly impossible to pray together, and it will eat me up inside when our relationship is in that type of mess.

I still have lots to learn, but the Lord has held us together. Find a good Bible believing Church and get some counseling and some friends to help hold you accountable to one another. Enjoy your hobbies, but be sure you are not putting them in front of your family and responsibilities to your wife. She should come first. I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your wife to make it through this difficult time and for things to turn around.

One other thing, if you agree to work on things, agree to take the threats to leave off the table. It should not cross your lips. Couple's don't realize the damage they do to the trust to one another when they make this part of their arguments, but I know it's very common. Women in particular need to know you are there for the duration, that those vows mean something. Coming out of another marriage puts you at a disadvantage, but try to get there on this one and agree between yourselves if it's not too late.

God bless!

well spoken

Sent from my Galaxy SII

[newbheliusr]

Thank you very much sir. I am not highly religious but I do believe. I'm a very simple person and have done a lot of things I deeply regret. I can't change any of it, and looking back I probably wouldn't as I would not be where I am now and the person I am. I dearly love my kids and my current wife. Tonight we sat and just talked and had fun. I know that god is there and that my mother, brother, dad and grandparents are there in heaven. I believe that. My wife is truly a wonderful woman. She supports me in this hobby and only says something when my spending gets a bit out of hand. And when she does say something she is always kind. She fully supports me. If it makes me happy she is happy. She has no interest in flying but yet supports me. We just need to spend time together. I get a bit lonely from time to time. I never want to lose her. And I have heard a lot of good advice here that I will put into practice immediately.


I honestly never thought I'd get this reaction from this thread. But helifreak is much more than a heli community. It's is full of people who care about not just heli's but people too. And that's a great thing. I consider all of you friends. God bless all of you and helifreak for bringing us together.

Thank you all. Please close this thread. Things are going to be ok now.

Rex


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cailid]

If you haven't yet, you should show her this thread.

[newbheliusr]

I have. She was quite impressed with the support.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[propxprt]

Wish you the best man! BTW I'm a big fan of your avatar!

[backburner1955]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

Thank you very much sir. I am not highly religious but I do believe. I'm a very simple person and have done a lot of things I deeply regret. I can't change any of it, and looking back I probably wouldn't as I would not be where I am now and the person I am. I dearly love my kids and my current wife. Tonight we sat and just talked and had fun. I know that god is there and that my mother, brother, dad and grandparents are there in heaven. I believe that. My wife is truly a wonderful woman. She supports me in this hobby and only says something when my spending gets a bit out of hand. And when she does say something she is always kind. She fully supports me. If it makes me happy she is happy. She has no interest in flying but yet supports me. We just need to spend time together. I get a bit lonely from time to time. I never want to lose her. And I have heard a lot of good advice here that I will put into practice immediately.


I honestly never thought I'd get this reaction from this thread. But helifreak is much more than a heli community. It's is full of people who care about not just heli's but people too. And that's a great thing. I consider all of you friends. God bless all of you and helifreak for bringing us together.

Thank you all. Please close this thread. Things are going to be ok now.

Rex


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Good for you Rex, I hope all things go well for you and your wife, only you have the power to keep it on the right track, and so, only you have the power to close this great thread.

Congratulations and keep up the good work my friend.

[CrayonBox]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

Thank you very much sir. I am not highly religious but I do believe. I'm a very simple person and have done a lot of things I deeply regret. I can't change any of it, and looking back I probably wouldn't as I would not be where I am now and the person I am. I dearly love my kids and my current wife. Tonight we sat and just talked and had fun. I know that god is there and that my mother, brother, dad and grandparents are there in heaven. I believe that. My wife is truly a wonderful woman. She supports me in this hobby and only says something when my spending gets a bit out of hand. And when she does say something she is always kind. She fully supports me. If it makes me happy she is happy. She has no interest in flying but yet supports me. We just need to spend time together. I get a bit lonely from time to time. I never want to lose her. And I have heard a lot of good advice here that I will put into practice immediately.


I honestly never thought I'd get this reaction from this thread. But helifreak is much more than a heli community. It's is full of people who care about not just heli's but people too. And that's a great thing. I consider all of you friends. God bless all of you and helifreak for bringing us together.

Thank you all. Please close this thread. Things are going to be ok now.

Rex


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Rex,
If you feel you have done things wrong in your life you can be relieved of these wrong doings by handing them over to Jesus, and then you will be freed. Ask for His forgiveness. Pray this with your wife.
My first marriage was an immature mistake when I look back - and she wanted to change me. It doesn't work that way.
The woman I live with now is my second wife too. She has no interest in RC Helicopters. We have been married nearly 11 years.
Last week I ask her to have a go at my flight simulator and try and fly the helicopter. (so she could see how hard it is). She said she wasn't interested - but I insisted. Then she said, would you like to play my computer game? (she has a favorite game she plays). She made a good point - no I did not want to play her 'game'.

So we don't all have the same interests, even as married couples. The wife really just wants time alone together once or more a week doing something simple like a walk, dinner out, or going to a show or the movies. Quality time - some people like to call a weekly date night.
Save your marriage - if you really love each other - it will certainly be worth it.

All the best Rex. We'll be praying for you! Jesus already loves you - all you have to do is acknowledge his goodness once in a while.