Goodbye

[newbheliusr]

Single is easier. But not as rewarding. IMO


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[UBHSTRY]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

Single is easier. But not as rewarding. IMO


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+100000

[Bob O]

Rex,

I had about a page full of stuff before I just deleted it all.

Here's the bottom line...........if you two are still able to talk, and you each have even just an ounce of respect for the other, then there's a chance you can work things out. Sacrifices and compromises need to be made by both of you. Chances are each of you share some blame for where your marriage is at. Try to identify the "issues" and address them the best that you can.

Bear in mind that while you two need to work on some things, you might also need some time away from each other. I'm not saying you need to be apart, but each of you might need your own space.

I don't know what else to say, Rex. This is obviously one of those times when you take things a day at a time. Good luck, buddy.

[Maypole]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

My wife and I are going to sit down and talk when we get home. all things are possible for the one that loves the lord. My grandmother use to say. I'll work hard, and try to fix this with her. We just need to be more respectful of each others feelings and wants and needs. Between this site, me flying, and my wife, I know it'll work out. I don't want to lose her, she's a wonderful woman, she really is. And she said she loves me, so there is hope for us. I just want her to come and watch me fly sometimes, not all the time, she has stuff she wants to do too. but every now and then.

My god, I never expected this much outpouring of support. Thank you, I really mean that. Even the guy who own the site showed his support, I am floored. I love this place, I really do.

Rex

Great attitude and a solid approach! Wanting to fix things is that very important first step. Sounds like you have the right mindset to get things rolling.

Btw, glad to hear you're not leaving the hobby! Best of luck to ya!

[Bob O]

Rex,

Personally, I'm glad my wife isn't interested in my hobby. I flew RC before I met her 16 years ago. She hasn't liked it from day 1, and that hasn't bothered me one bit. Who cares if she doesn't like it? Not me. I don't like some of the things she does either. We each appreciate the time we have away from each other. You can't spend every waking moment with each other, that wouldn't work out either.

Find something that the two of you like and that you would like to to together. Spending time at home with each other isn't the same as spending time together doing something fun that you both like.

[Thalios]

Communication is key. Tell her what you don't like. Ask her what she doesn't.

Don't keep it in. Of course, say it in a civilized way.

And remember, life is only as good as you make it.

[thrustboy]

I think your impulse to give up the helis is just a tacit realization that the relationship is THAT much more important. That is a strong sign in your favor. Acting positively on that realization is all you can do. All the love you are receiving here is real and will help give you strength to do what is best for your family.

Sneaking a little time for the helicopters will help you stay centered. It could actually be detrimental to abandone this "safe zone" right now.

Prayers coming from me.

[alexb917]

your story is touching but i have to tell you that your not alone.... put your trust in god and believe me he will open up other doors im not a holy holy man but i do have faith . if flying makes you happy then you shouldn't walk away from it and as for your wife she should be more supportive keep your head up and keep on keeping on.

[johnnyb151]

Good luck Bro

[RobZfisherman]

Your not alone in this. In '96 my freinds brought to my attention that my wife was involved in multiple affairs. That kind of thing will shake anybody to the core. Before I was informed of these things ALL my freinds came together and sorted out solutions to my problems and anticipated my needs by arranging housing, baby sitting and more things than I could think of at the time. Their support was immeasurable and makes my eyes well up to this day.

My wife was secretly addicted to cocaine and it played its part in the infidelities and financial stress that marked the period. My experience is not like yours, where they cross is in that I recognized my faults. I love my children but didn't fullfill all my duties as a parent should. I have many compelling reasons for this but the results were the same and I am equally responsible.

The following 6 months were challenging and I re-invented myself, dealing with hard knocks all the way ( hidden unpaid bills, bills and more bills). At the end of that period I found the happiest and most rewarding days of my life raising my 6 and 4 year old daughter and son solo. I will never be the same person I was, it took a serious blow to change me and I now consider it a good thing in my life.

When the going was tough I would seek escape in my flyfishing the beautiful lakes and rivers that are abundant. Oh, and my freinds God bless them!

I've followed your posts and you are a good person at the core, don't beat yourself up, it's too easy to do and wont help you at all.

[newbheliusr]

I never expected such an outpouring of love. I've never had to deal with a mate cheating on me. Honestly don't know what I would do. I'm not a violent person, not in the least. I'm a big meek kinda guy. 6'1" and 240. But I could see someone getting hurt. thank god I've never had to deal with that. But one failed marriage is enough for me. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have ever met. But I think we just get into ruts at times, get use to each other, and take for granted the other person will just be there no matter what.

I will get through this, and I promise you this. I will never ever forget those of you who have commented on this thread. Most of you are people whom I have never met, but the kind words make me feel so much better. Thank heaven for this community.

Now, back to concentrating on getting my X5. When I do get it, I'll be the only one at my field flying a Gaui...................aren't they gonna be jealous? LOL

[ImperatorMagnus]

Belay, bad taste...but you know us Marines...Semper Fi brother.

[rstekeur]

Man up, get your poop in a group, and don't sell your hobby

[NCcraig]

Been there, done that with a cheating spouse! I booted her after going through counseling and all the other BS the talking heads say you need to do. I had two teenage son's at the time, a great job and was damn near broke when it was all said and done. But I pulled myself up, after the pitty party, got on with my life. I did very well after it was all said and done. I found the woman I was suppose to be with all my life and have been happier every since.

Regardless of what you do,remember that as dark as it may seem now, there is a brighter light on the other side of the tunnel. Keep you chin up, don't bury yourself in a bottle and surround youself with your close family and good friends. I guarentee you that you will get through this and be better off for it!

[banditpowdercoat]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

Single is easier. But not as rewarding. IMO


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Single sucks!! From my perspective anyways


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[backburner1955]

Originally Posted by newbheliusr

It's just a very sad time in my life right now.

You know that everybody here cares enough to hear your problems if you need an outlet.

Hang in there Rex, all will work out in the end if she still loves you like she says. I can feel it in your writing that you still have it, so good luck to the both of you and we are all thinking of you.

[PTcaflyer]

...Hang in there buddy!
GAUI's is COOL!
PT

[shreddedpaper]

Point to be made here, I am on my second marriage, first was a complete train wreck. First wife was very controlling and wanted me to change into somebody who i was not comfortable being. Relationships work both ways. I'm sure you are not as bad as you make yourself out to be, you are just hearing the same thing over and over again from somebody who i assume wants all the changes to be through you while she changes not at all. Therefore, you start to believe that it's all you. Not so. Definitely have your talk, be civil, don't raise voices. If I'm way off base here, I apologize, no disrespect intended for your wife.

But, if there are changes to be made in a relationship, they must be made on both sides or it simply won't work.

Don't try to change YOURSELF into somebody YOU can't live with. You'll only start to regret it later on. It's completely out of your character to describe yourself as you do, you are a very friendly and helpful part of this community, i just have a hard time seeing you as you have described yourself during this thread. I wish you the very best, I hope the two of you can work it out, but if it's all change on your side, maybe it's better to be done with it. Your boys will grow up and see it for how it really is someday, you don't want them to go through the same thing. If my current marriage were to fail, it would hurt and there would be much depression, but after the first time it happened, I know I can start over.

PS. There is no shame in a failed marriage, it's your life too, and it's really quite short. Be happy! And keep flying!

[tomd27858]

I sincerely wish you the best and you will be in my family's preyers.

[Magooch]

I'm glad you changed your mind on the hobby, was really looking forward to sneaking over the pass to meet and fly with you guys one of these weekends... I'll bring my x7
Relationships are work! There is still love so there is hope! Maybe get involved in each others hobbies no matter how boring it is for you. Always make time for her no matter how close you are to finishing a build
As far as your kids go never give up trying to make contact, no matter what has happened in the past. I have not talked to my dad since my first kid was born, over 15 years ago. He has not even asked for a picture of them (I have 4 now). He has always been a jerk and a pos but a little effort would have went a long way with me. I'm sure there are different circumstances involved cause you sound as if you care. Pick up the phone if no answer try again in a week... You never know till you try, and you should never give up on friends or family.
Wish you the best with everthing!